Friday, September 26, 2014

Why my Christian friends should stop forcing me to eat pork

Many friends have tried convincing me to eat pork but to no avail. Unfortunately every time I am about to heed to their pleas and give the damn thing a taste, I get terribly scared and I back off. I just fear what will happen the day I get a taste of that delicacy. Off course my concerned brothers and sisters in Christ have attributed my fears to my Islam background and rebuked me for not getting “saved completely”.

Well, what many of these brothers and sisters are yet to appreciate is that the problem is bigger than the pork. For instance, I have a problem with smoked fish but interestingly I enjoy the fresh fish. But even then the only type of fish I can eat is Tylapia. I have never tasted any other type of fish.

My relatives and I have always quarrelled over the apparent inconsistence in my food tastes. As in who eats fresh fish but purports to have issues with smoked fish or so they wonder. And despite their crude jokes about my issues with food, I have still maintained my stand and I will not change that stand just because some brother or cousin of mine thinks it is ridiculous. It‘s that bad.

Yet you need to hear this. I have no problem eating porridge and neither do I have any problem with taking milk yet once you mix the porridge and milk, I cannot eat the stuff. I hate ghee a by product of milk and I don’t take Yoghurt. Isn’t that more ridiculous? Obviously, to some people it is but I will never apologise about it. I can give more examples to illustrate the point but the bottom line is if I have never eaten it or tasted it before; probably I will never eat or taste it.

We have to agree that sometimes the food is simply too green or people are just overly creative with the food.

And perhaps what all my friends and relatives need to know is that when it comes to food, I am a Pharisee. I follow the letter not the spirit. That’s why I can eat maize bread, rice and beans for a year and I will not have any problem with that. My choices of what to eat are limited to what I already know and what I like. If I do not like the taste of it, then I will tell you I cannot eat it and indeed I will never eat it. But that’s if you are lucky enough to successfully convince me to taste it.

Therefore except if pork is so special; I think this should be sufficient explanation to my Christian brothers and sisters for us to burry this question of pork once and for all. Perhaps, what my Christian sisters can do (obviously the brothers can’t do this) is to speak to me nicely and tell me about the benefits of eating pork. I swear if a girl ever convinces me on this one, I will marry her.

Anyway, there is a girl that has already convinced me that eating pork just like marrying her would not be such a bad idea but I am just waiting for the day she prepares the delicacy herself.

So, if you’re in my circle of Christian friends and I ever accept to eat pork ribs prepared by your hands, just know you are the girl I am talking about. 


Kenyans should donate the pork to Ugandans not waste it on futile political campaigns

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