“So my friend Musumba
Zak recently chucked his long term sweetheart Abwooli for an
unnamed Mukiga girl whom he purportedly intends to get married. Well, as if
that was news. We all saw it coming from day one. Don’t ask me how? We shall
leave such answers to our friend Jason who is prophetic.
Anyways, I
stumbled on Abwooli the other day as I was making my rounds in what is left of
Owino market (FYI, I was not purchasing clothes, I had gone to crack a deal.
Don’t shake your head like that, it was a land deal.)
So, I bumped
into Abwooli and I actually had not recognised her! She has put on quite some
weight and her skin is as depicted by those women in Movit adverts. Well, it
was honestly a weird moment for me, since she blamed me for diverting my friend
Musumba Zak from her to my cousin the Mukiga girl. I think Musumba told you
about that lengthy whatsapp message she sent, accusing me of interesting
Musumba in computer games like Mortal Kombat, Call of Duty and FIFA, knowing
that the Mukiga girl likes computer games too. Mbu Musumba now did not have
time to crack her ribs with his stories, but always wanted to play “cartoons”
on tv. What Musumba didn’t tell you is that I never read the whole message. I
just read the first two lines and then put a smiley as a reply. (Don’t we all?)
Anyway, Abwooli
told me she was now happily single and content. Of course she realised I was
staring at her skin and told me that the good thing about being single is that
you have time for yourself alone and not some other chap who doesn’t even care
about you. Mbu she now doesn’t have to cook and can eat KFC everyday. (As if I
don’t know that there is “Kyankazi Food Centre” in Owino? Agayaye!)
Mbu she even had
time now to visit all her relatives that she had chucked to spend time with
Musumba. She told me benefit after benefit until I almost called my other half
to tell her that I was joining Abwooli and Olara Otunnu in the club of singles.
Anyways, since my time for the deal was almost done, I remarked that I had to
proceed to my other ventures. Of course I didn’t ask her what she was doing
downtown since I thought single people go to Select Garments so as to win over
other unsuspecting people. But Abwooli seemed to be doing well. So my friend
Musumba Zak, maybe you should consider Abwooli again. Besides, she used to be a
good cook, while your Mukiga girl has beaten me enough times in street battles
on Call of Duty Black Ops.”
Editor (Musumba's) Note: We
all know Abwooli is lying and even if she grew fat after chucking me, all I
know is that she is not doing well. Papa Herman can think whatever he wants but
I will never go back to Abwooli. Never! I will stay with my Mukiga girl till
death do us part.
For more information on the history of this love
story check out these articles
Its
official this year I am getting married and here is the reason why
This is an edited version of a guest blog from my dear friend Herman Tuhairwe. He's like the one of the bestest friends I have in my life.
This is an edited version of a guest blog from my dear friend Herman Tuhairwe. He's like the one of the bestest friends I have in my life.
Now I know the genesis of Abwoli's troubles.
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