Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I paid for grand pa's sins of wife beating

The other day my grand father was narrating to me how he used to
wallop my grand mother during the days of his youth and intimating to
me how he believes slapping and kicking a woman here and there not to be
something as wicked as many people of this generation think it to be.
I swear I was so baffled that I pulled my chair closer to eagerly
listen to those extreme assertions of my grandfather as he unleashed
more astonishing tales about how he used to thrash his wife without
fear or favor.

While he was narrating about his aggressive escapades with grand ma, I remembered these groups of activists whose billboards are ever discouraging us men from beating the daughters of Eve claiming that beating a woman is what is called domestic violence. So, I decided to inquire for the opinion of grand pa on this matter and whether he is
not aware that beating a woman these days is taken to be a cardinal sin and even some people in this era call it domestic violence.

His wrinkled skin contracted, his eyes brows raised to let his eyes look like they were about to pop out and yelled at me “My son, do not be stupid, I have also heard of that stupidity- the so called domestic violence.”

At that moment shivers had already started running down my spine for I believed my inquiry should have exasperated the old man. However to the relief of my soul he managed to cool down as soon as I would have wished him to. As soon as he recollected his wits he changed what was supposed to be a narration of his whipping antics into a lecture on wife beating and why it should never be associated with domestic violence. He began by reminding me that I am a grown up man who should not be influenced by the opinions of activists to determine what I should do with my wife. He added that besides sometimes beating a woman is a means of showing love to a woman and that even the women know this.

He told me that for instance that at one time he had taken a few months without sharing some slaps and kicks with my grand mother and my
grandma put up a serious protest claiming that he no longer loved her as he had always before just because he had taken some time without thumping grand ma. This was unbelievable but the old man continued with his lecture and assured me that that was the day when he vowed never to take such a long time without walloping my grand mother just to let her stay assured of his sincere love. He then explained that in his marital life, him and grandma used not only to share gifts, hugs and kisses but also a few occasional slaps and kicks and that is why their marriage stood the test of time.

He then concluded the matter by telling me that besides beating a wife being a means of showing love to our female counterparts, it could also be looked at as just simple wear and tear in a relationship or home not domestic violence because that is too hard a phrase to be associated with such a simple thing like wife beating.

Being the wise fool that I am, I was tempted and indeed took the advise of my grandfather seriously. So when I got back with my sweetheart at home, the first thing I did was throw a hot slap at her soft chic when she angered my soul. The next thing I knew after that was that I had been put behind bars for battering a daughter of a man. I could hardly believe but I was there anyway and that is how I realized that old men are not always right; that may be in this modern day and era, we should not take some of their archaic opinions on some matters like domestic violence as seriously as we always take most of their other sometimes pathetic opinions.

See related article on wife beating

UAE: Spousal Abuse never a "right"

By Tiberindwa Zakaria


  1. brother you almost got me mad...but i read some where that what a child knows an elder knows better...well the times have changed. we should say bye to repugnancy

  2. Then I achieved my aim. My aim was surely to make you mad