Friday, December 2, 2011

Meet Uganda's most profilic striker of the year

This year (2011) has been one of striking in this blessed curse of a country called Uganda. Apart from me I think every Ugandan has in one way of the other participated in a strike the teachers, the doctors, the traders and wanainchi have all striked at one point this year. I will not mention the lecturers of Makere University because that is kind of usual. Thus I have also decided to strike now that the year is drawing to a close lest the year escapes away and goes to wherever it intends to go without me striking. It is not that I want a bigger pay for this stuff that I write or that I have any grievances with my employers. Neither am I going to do this just to murder a few human beings here and there like the various lightening strikes. It is just that I feel like striking.

I want to understand, comprehend and fully appreciate what this whole concept of striking means. Given that my strike will basically be about exploring the satisfaction that there is in striking, this is what I am going to do when my strike finally commences. I will enter my boss's office with a heavy whip and strike some sense into his butt or nut for that matter. After striking him seriously, I will quit the job and look for a job elsewhere. Most likely, few employers will be willing to employ me since jobs are scarce these days. But then, I am not ready to go around begging for jobs when I can force some employers into giving me certain jobs. And one of those employers is none other than Bobby Williamson. I am going to tell him that I want to join the Uganda Cranes and specifically as a striker. If he refuses to allow me into his team, I will threaten him with a serious strike on his nut just to prove to him that I am a no nonsense striker. In other words I will remind him that I am capable of striking him to death if he insists on refusing me to join the team.

Besides as far as I am concerned the strikers of Uganda Cranes are not indispensable people in that squad. But he could also choose not to block me from joining the squad. If he does that, I will ensure that I perfectly do my striking job on the pitch. I will not hesitate to strike our opponents with serious tackles. And if the referee dares to give me a card; yellow or red whatever the case, I will also strike him with a few blows.

I am quite certain that my level of striking ability will raise dust and some players will begin questioning Bobby's acumen for having allowed me into his squad. Because of this, some of his players may decide to deal with the problem by striking and I will also strike them down in return just to remind them that I am a better striker than them. And so when I finally get tired of striking, I will just quit Bobby's team and get back to business as usual. In other words I will call off the strike.

Read about the various strikes that have happened in Uganda in 2011

Teachers Defy Government order continue with strike  

Lightening Strikes 40 pupils 

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