And so what is love?

It may sound like it is childish for a WHOLE 22- year old man to be wondering what the hell the meaning of love is on this planet. But then I would like to beg that before we cast the first stone, let us first examine our selves and find out whether we really understand this madness called love.

Now I know many of you in a bid to understand what love is, have been reading all kinds of articles in newspapers and books sijuyi romantic novels and many more. Yet things never seem to work out when you actually try to love according the rules and regulations in those books. Some of you even go as far as watching and listening to some programs on television and radio just because you want to discover the so called mystery in love or the so called true love but you never click the trick.

And that is why there is every reason for you to stop reading all those other silly things and listen to what I am going to tell you now. To begin with love is not something akin to a commandment or well established principle that is based on some rules and regulations. What works today may never work tomorrow. What works for Tom may not work for Dick and Harry. That is why those books can never give you definite answers.. and neither can those programs on televisions or those seminars you attend in a bid to understand what love is.

All that you do when you do all those things in a bid to understand the complexities of love is trying too hard to understand a simple four lettered word. What I mean is that you are scratching your head too much to understand L-O-V-E which should be a pretty an easy thing to do.

So the conclusion of the matter is that just stop trying so hard. In fact there is no reason why you should. Simply go out there with an open mind, ready to be hurt and make mistakes and let the experience of it teach you how to do it. Obviously at one point you may need to fall back to the books and articles in newspapers to pick a few ideas here and there but even then those ideas should not be taken as rules and regulations. I would rather you took them as guidelines. If you can only do this then there is no doubt that sooner than later you will be the one writing those articles telling people, how the hell they should love their loved ones on this planet. Trust me on this blog we shall have space for you.

By Tiberindwa Zakaria

To be or not to be a gentleman

Sometimes I pity daughters of men that dream of meeting gentlemen on this planet. To be sincere there are not so many gentlemen on this planet. Or at least to be specific on this continent that belongs to African sons of men. Obviously some of these ladies more so campus chics will watch some of those actors sijuyi a certain Salvardo or Antonio pulling a chair for a one Barbarita in soaps and then expect African men like I to do such silly things.

For heaven's sake those soaps are acted and ultimately not anywhere near to reality. In reality, some of these ladies will meet silly young but African men like I that do not give a damn about being "gentlemen"

I mean, how can a young man like I that was brought up believing to be superior by default bend as low as pulling chairs for ladies in the name of being a gentleman! I that was bred in a village; where all I could do was sit in manner akin to the proverbial village chief swinging my legs like I owned the world, whistling away and picking my nose when I felt like...I simply cannot. Yet, I can assure you that at one point I shall have some of these young ladies swinging their skirts around my soul and desperately yearning for my hand in marriage.

I know that even when I refuse to take up the exaggerated beliefs of some of these young women for instance those that claim mbu eating with our naked hands is not a classy venture, I shall still have some of them running after my soul.

I am told even some of the extremists among them expect us to use forks and knives as weapons of food destruction when munching things. Kati Honestly, I have never thought of any other method of mercilessly munching a thing like a chicken thigh other than that method that requires the use of my naked hands.

Then, I hear of things like chopsticks. With those ones. I do not think some of us will even ever learn how to use them.

Naye, that is not to say that we cannot pretend to be gentlemen. Obviously as soon as we realize that the only way of netting some of these damsels in this world is by acting to be gentlemen, we shall surely act as perfect gentlemen like some of those actors that they watch on Television. Yet as soon as we net these ladies we shall go back to our old ways after all old habits die hard. Wamma isn't that so all the African men out there that were never born to be gentlemen? And if you feel me and my Jazz simply say aye.

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By Tiberindwa Zakaria

When they are single, Christian and heading to hell

"My name is Brother Zakaria Tiberindwa a.k.a Musumba Zaake...My status...umm...deeply hooked to a cantankerously gorgeous babe." Obviously such a powerful intro will be followed by a heavily chorused exclamation of "Ehh Maama!" and loud musings of "Oba who is that ka lucky babe?" from the multitudes that do not know about that thug of a woman that stole my heart.

But then the problem is when it comes to their turn to introduce themselves. You will find brothers that will claim to be "in love with Jesus Christ" and sisters that are "engaged to our lord Jesus Christ." For heaven's sake, we too are "in love with Jesus Christ" but also "deeply hooked to gorgeous daughters of men.” There is a way some of these single brothers and sisters want us to think that they are nearer to God than we are.

We all know that when Jesus comes back he is coming back for his pure and undefiled church. I am quite certain that that will include brothers that are hooked up. He has no plans to take to heaven only single brothers that barely know what the hell they want on this planet; or single sisters that are fantasizing about “engagements” with our lord. 

May be, we would excuse these sisters for dreaming of being engaged to Christ if they were Muslims because at least then we would know that Prophet Issa or the Jesus we know will come at the end of time to get married to one of them since he died a single man like some of them. We would excuse them given that in the world of Muslims it is believed that Prophet Issa will come back to get married.

Yet after giving such fake and silly intros at events, they will then begin accusing and counter accusing one another: sisters clamoring sijuyi "Brothers are SLOW" and brothers grumbling mbu “the sisters are RELUCTANT."

Kati Brothers and Sisters, here is the conclusion of the matter. In this world of unmarried Christians there are two things involved. You are either in a relationship or you are single. If you are in a relationship it is okay but if you are single there are two things involved. You are either single and contended or single and searching/available for the case of our sisters. 

If you are single and contented it is okay but if you are single and searching/available there are two things involved. You either say it openly or you keep fooling us around. If you say it openly it is okay but if you keep fooling us around there are two things involved. You will either become frustrated and shut up when you realize that it is not us that you are fooling but yourself or you will become frustrated and begin blaming the sisters or brothers for your predicament. If you become frustrated and shut up it is okay but if you become frustrated and begin blaming the brothers or sisters for your predicament, there is only one thing involved. You will most likely end up in hell.

By Tiberindwa Zakaria