Monday, April 4, 2011

When they are single, Christian and heading to hell

"My name is Brother Zakaria Tiberindwa a.k.a Musumba Zaake...My status...umm...deeply hooked to a cantankerously gorgeous babe." Obviously such a powerful intro will be followed by a heavily chorused exclamation of "Ehh Maama!" and loud musings of "Oba who is that ka lucky babe?" from the multitudes that do not know about that thug of a woman that stole my heart.

But then the problem is when it comes to their turn to introduce themselves. You will find brothers that will claim to be "in love with Jesus Christ" and sisters that are "engaged to our lord Jesus Christ." For heaven's sake, we too are "in love with Jesus Christ" but also "deeply hooked to gorgeous daughters of men.” There is a way some of these single brothers and sisters want us to think that they are nearer to God than we are.

We all know that when Jesus comes back he is coming back for his pure and undefiled church. I am quite certain that that will include brothers that are hooked up. He has no plans to take to heaven only single brothers that barely know what the hell they want on this planet; or single sisters that are fantasizing about “engagements” with our lord. 

May be, we would excuse these sisters for dreaming of being engaged to Christ if they were Muslims because at least then we would know that Prophet Issa or the Jesus we know will come at the end of time to get married to one of them since he died a single man like some of them. We would excuse them given that in the world of Muslims it is believed that Prophet Issa will come back to get married.

Yet after giving such fake and silly intros at events, they will then begin accusing and counter accusing one another: sisters clamoring sijuyi "Brothers are SLOW" and brothers grumbling mbu “the sisters are RELUCTANT."

Kati Brothers and Sisters, here is the conclusion of the matter. In this world of unmarried Christians there are two things involved. You are either in a relationship or you are single. If you are in a relationship it is okay but if you are single there are two things involved. You are either single and contended or single and searching/available for the case of our sisters. 

If you are single and contented it is okay but if you are single and searching/available there are two things involved. You either say it openly or you keep fooling us around. If you say it openly it is okay but if you keep fooling us around there are two things involved. You will either become frustrated and shut up when you realize that it is not us that you are fooling but yourself or you will become frustrated and begin blaming the sisters or brothers for your predicament. If you become frustrated and shut up it is okay but if you become frustrated and begin blaming the brothers or sisters for your predicament, there is only one thing involved. You will most likely end up in hell.

By Tiberindwa Zakaria 

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