Friday, March 13, 2015

To have or not to have babies

When you successfully complete LDC, one of the realities you will face are the ladies who think that you can now make babies with them. You are done with school after all. What more can you do with life except father a few kids here and there.

So, the other day I met an old friend. It’s been a while since we talked. When we met, I cancelled all the plans I had in the afternoon and off we went to Javas to question ourselves on why we had chucked each other and what plans we had for the future.

Somehow, as we talked and sipped on the cup of coffee we were sharing, the conversation drifted to an unfinished discussion we had had a few years back about the two of us making one or two babies together. I have always tried to avoid this discussion but she keeps bringing it up anyway.

And I don’t even remember how we got there but in my heart I was like you must be kidding me.
“And you know that for us to make babies, something has to be done under the sheets” I contended.

“Yes of course” she cut in, “What’s wrong with that? We are both adults.”

“But even if we have the child” I retorted “how are we going to raise the child because you know that it’s impossible for us to get married right? At least we have discussed and agreed our different religious affiliations can’t allow us to.”

“If we can’t agree on how to raise the child,” she countered, “then we shall take the matter to the parents and they will decide.”

Naye girls can be sharp, she knows that she can get away with this because well, her family and ours have been close since time immemorial. Surely, my parents wouldn’t mind their friend’s daughter who is a consenting adult mothering their grandson. Perhaps, she also hopes that with a child in the picture, I can relent and accept to get married to her despite my reservations on marrying non-believers.

My response was a stern look and I thought I should become a little more frank.

“You know what Shamina, back in the day, I would have married you, perhaps if you had insisted like you do today. But now, even if you convert, I can’t. And I wouldn’t love you to convert just because you want us to get married. I want you to convert because you have believed Christ as your personal lord and savior.”

“I don’t know but it seems like the more I grow up, the more principled I become.” I jabbered or so she supposed.

“So let’s just forget about the past and move on. It is not possible that there can ever be anything between us. You also know it.”

By then, I noticed tears welling up in her cavities. It is not the first time she was about to cry. The first time it happened was back in the day when she said she loved me and I said I loved her too but was constrained by the religious considerations at hand to take matters beyond the platonic friendship or the confessions we shared. That day she was on phone unlike that day when I had to face her and wipe the tears but also stand by my word.

Meanwhile she was seething with a controlled rage and accusing,

You know what Zak you’re a coward.

I tried to explain and put in the defense of having to remain true to my Christian calling but she wouldn’t listen.

“You also know you are a coward, don’t even argue about it.” She insisted

“Well, if refusing to have babies with women I am not married to is being a coward, then I am okay with being a coward, at least for now.” I reasoned in my heart

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