Friday, May 2, 2014

Of Boda Boda stupidity and Uganda’s mini-phobic gentlemen


This research article substantiates on the reasons why every Ugandan should be worried about the country’s alarming levels of mini-phobia. “What the hell is mini-phobia?” You will wonder. Well, before I tell you what mini-phobia is, I will tell you what it is not. Mini-phobia is not a good thing. It is not something that we should be proud of as a country. But if you are really determined to know what it is all about please read on.

Literature review

I am told that Rev. Lokodo is not the first Ugandan to perpetuate the persecution of the miniskirt or the journalists that have misinformed the public by calling the Anti- Pornography Act, the miniskirt law. As a matter of fact that law has nothing or little to do with the miniskirt. So, all journalists and their friends the Boda Boda (Motorcycle Taxi) men are advised to leave the miniskirt alone. That is the only way we can fight this fear of miniskirts or what I was referring to as mini-phobia in the opening abstract.

The former President of Uganda Field Marshal Iddi Amin Dada conqueror of the British Empire was also mini-phobic which brings me to the point I actually wanted to make. Mini-phobia promotes dictatorship. But does it? I also can’t tell but interesting to note is that whereas some scholars argue that the Amin was a dictator because he was mini-phobic other scholars believe Amin was mini-phobic because he was a dictator which propositions are akin to those stupid chicken-egg arguments and which of the two existed on this planet first. They just don’t make sense. Do they?
Anyway, I am told that during Amin’s time people invented an outfit called Amini nvaako (Amin leave me alone). The long outfit was invented to avert Amin’s persecution of the miniskirt. I think it’s time we invented some designer outfit that we shall dub Lokodo nvaako and tell our sisters that it can help protect them from the wrath of Uganda’s mini-phobic Boda Boda men.


Every Ugandan that believes in the bible is supposed to condemn the miniskirt except some of us who believe that before you remove a speck in another’s eye you should first deal with the log in your own eye. The Boda Boda man who hisses at a girl wearing a miniskirt has no right to condemn the girl after the girl has ignored his wicked wink. Or else we shall question the motive that forms the basis for his condemnation of the girl. Besides the bible tells us that God looks at the heart not what is on the outside. I am sure there are girls, who wear miniskirts on the outside, but when they are wearing Amin Nvaako on their hearts and I am sure there are some girls who wear Amin Nvaako on the outside but when they are wrapping some skimpy outfit around their hearts. So, Mr. Persecutor of the miniskirt, tell us which of the two girls you think is more dangerous to our society?

However, that does not mean that we should just sit back and watch the miniskirt take pre-eminence in our society. Like it is always said, too much of anything is bad; thus the need for moderation. According to one my lecturers here at Law Development Centre, it is foolish for a country to pass a national law against the miniskirt. He is of the opinion that rather than pass a national law against miniskirts people that feel they cannot stand the sight of mini-skirts should pass bye-laws in their respective homes and institutions legislating against this miniskirt thing other than burden the country with such a law. What am I saying?  See conclusion


That when an institution like Uganda Christian University  passes a law against the miniskirt it is perfectly fine and none of those campus kids should be seen to complain about the miniskirt laws in UCU. In fact no one in such a community should support pro-miniskirt ideas advanced in this article. That is just how it supposed to be. But for us the free people out here in the world, we are supposed to complain.

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