Crushed by crushes

I have been “crushed” so many times that if those incidents had been physical I would be but a deformed piece of dry and flat Atapa (millet bread). Crush number 1 was in my primary school on a daughter on of a Muteso. That girl was so angelic that every time I dozed off in class I would dream holding hands with that beauty and walking down the aisle. But then when I left primary school my dreams were severely shuttered when the world threw her to bounds I could hardly tell.

Yet, the other day, I found her on face book and …oops I had a crush. By that time I was nursing wounds of having been crushed by some gorgeous lady on this planet. Every time that daughter of a Muganda and I bump into each other somewhere in town I would just feel like sleeping because then, I would be assured of sharing the best of moments with her in one or two dreams.

But Even when I was crushed by that daughter of a Muganda, I had been nursing the wounds of a crush inflicted by a daughter of a Musoga at my work place. I had even tied the knot with her. I swear I had even tied the knot with her in that dream that was rudely interrupted by a knock on the door from my neighbor.

That is why I dislike this whole idea of being a bachelor. You could suffer from an endless streak of crushes if you are not careful. And amidst it all, you keep hoping to avenge for the crushes by marrying the ladies responsible for your crushes.

One day you come across a girl with beautiful eyes and you begin seeing a mother of your children in her eyes but before you are done with that you meet another girl with amazing hips. You then vow to your ancestors promising to ensure that those hips give birth to your children come what may. But then before you honor your promise you bump into another with lovely breasts and that is when you decide that your children deserve to be fed on milk from lovely breasts. By that time you have been crushed left, right and centre and wondering when you will get out of that silly world of crushes. But then you remember that you can write an article about all that and so you write it.

By Tiberindwa Zakaria