Tuesday, April 28, 2015

How to impress a Muko (your father in law)

Now unlike all the how-to-do courses you have done and been exposed to by able instructors like myself and many others, this course is unique in the sense that it’s not littered with a list if how-to-dos. On the contrary, it is simply based on a dummy conversation I had with my Muko a couple of days ago. (Muko is the Luganda equivalent of Father/ Brother/ Son in law but for this particular purpose it is used in reference to my father-in-law). So please follow through the conversation and pick your lessons. I cannot keep spoon feeding you. Okay? Yes I guess it’s okay

Musumba Zak: (Picks phone dials Muko’s number)

Muko: (Phone Rings with the kruuuuuuu sound)

Musumba Zak:  Muko is not picking (Musumba Zak thinking aloud) Muko should be serious. He should know that he’s risking his daughter’s happiness. Honestly if I decide to pull out of this, his daughter will be forever doomed to a miserable life on this planet.

Muko: (Finally picks call)Haro, who’s this

Musumba Zak: What you mean your daughter has never given you my number, naye girls aint loyal?

Muko: From the way you are speaking I will presume that you are the boy that is confusing my girl. So much that for the first time she has defied my orders. I want her to go for a Master’s Degree but wapi, she still insists that if I want her to go for masters, I have to let her get married to you first. And about the number, she tried giving it to me when we talked about you but I refused to save the number because I want you to leave my daughter alone and stop confusing her. She also told me, you would be calling in anytime today. I hope I’m not mistaken.

Musumba Zak: No, you are not but a point of correction sir. I am not the one confusing your daughter. She’s the one confusing herself. She also told me about the Masters and that you insisted she should do it before she gets married to me. I told her you were right but she was like no, I have to get married to you Zak.

Muko: So your name is Zak

Musumba Zak: No. Actually TiberindwaZakaria a.k.a Musumba Zak. She had even never told you my name. Really?

Muko: She told me but I really didn’t care because I abhor you any anyway. But even then, you don’t just call your muko and say whatever you want. You have to respect me man. In fact you have no right to call a father in law except if you have ever met him in person.

Musumba Zak: But Mzee also you. Don’t complicate things. You know I love your daughter. Seriously, I do and I want to marry her.

Muko: Just give me one reason why I should believe you. I even wonder what my daughter is up to. Honestly who gets married to boys like you?

Musumba Zak: Okay Mzee, let’s strike a deal. Are you on Facebook. Just give me your Facebook name or preferably your twitter handle. I promise I will tweet you the links to all the articles I have written about your daughter, I swear. Perhaps then you will understand how much I love...

MTN Machine/ Robot/ Woman intervenes says I no longer have credit to continue the conversation. Speak of bad things happening to good people.

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