Friday, March 15, 2013

The difference between singing and wailing in the bathroom

Girls, it is okay to sing in the bathroom but it is really horrible when in the name of singing you decide to cry. Not that your so-called singing which in actual sense sounds like weeping really bothers us, nonetheless we are definitely saddened. So, before you begin singing tomorrow while taking your morning bath; I would rather that you consider reading this. It will help you revise your ways just in case you are one of those people who can only sing by sounding like they are crying.  

The story of my neighbor. We have been neighbors with this girl for the last one month. She is the typical melancholy, one with whom you can barely strike a conversation with, that girl that glories in staying in the confinement of her solicitude. Apart from the habitual greetings in the morning and evenings nothing ever goes on between us. Every one minds their business except on those days when I have to take my breakfast at home and I have to borrow her electric kettle. But of all the sorrow that comes which having such a girl as a neighbor, the mornings are the most torturous. Every morning she weeps in the name of singing ‘omutima bwegulwalala okwagala ngaguluma, gwo tonyige nti oba oguwe kudagala guwune. Ogwange mulinga omujudde ebituli yi yi yi oooo wuwiiiii wuwiii. (When the heart gets sick of love, it hurts so much. For you cannot treat it or give it medication that it may be well. My heart is like one that has been pierced with wounds so deep yi yi yi oooo wuwiii wuwiii).’ Another time she will be like Omukwano gunyuma bweguba gutandika, naye bwegukula gumanyi okubowamu, ate bwegutama buba bugumikiriza, omukwano lubanga luyimba ahhh ahhh ehhhh wuwii wuwii. (Love is great when it has just kicked off but when it grow it starts to bore and when you get fed up of love, it is only patience that can keep you in there, love is like a song ohhh ahhh ehhe wuwiii wuwiii). She goes and on crying out Samalie Matovu’s chorus.

My part as the caring neighbor. Being the caring neighbor and attentive listener that I am, I suspected that this girl’s heart must have been pierced so deep in her past relationships that it was literally bleeding. Otherwise, there was no reason why a sane daughter of the man could wail so much about love every other morning. So, I asked her out for a date and luckily enough she accepted to tag along. The date was strictly (I swear) for the purpose of making this girl feel good about who she is and may be get to understand that she is also capable of being loved because honestly, from the way she always cried, there was definitely a lot of love that she needed to get from guys like me. As usual, that day, to get the tit-a-tee rolling, I asked for her hobby and she was like- singing. I love singing so much. I guess you have heard me sing in the bathroom. What! Singing in the bathroom! You must be kidding me, I thought to myself. Singing or crying in the bathroom? I almost asked. I was beaten.

The moral of the story. To cut the long story short the moral in the story is that before you imagine that what you do in your bathroom every morning is singing, find out from your neighbor whether it really is what you think. Otherwise, stop wailing. 

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