An open letter to that girl who promised “to tell me something”

Dear Girl who promised to tell me something,

I have no time to waste. So I will jump straight into the fray and take the bull by its horns. First, this letter is not just directed to you but to every girl out there that thinks they can make the first move on a guy and get away with it.  So, please share this with that assemblage of busy bodies you call friends and tell them that we can’t keep up with the speed at which they are running after our souls. Call us slow brothers if you want but we need some breathing space. Honestly, we need it.

Poetry vs Guitar Playing

There is a fallacy that has been perpetuated for centuries, that guys who play guitars and strap them around their shoulders are the coolest human beings this world has ever encountered. Unfortunately for them who have believed that lie, I am here to demystify the fallacy, set the record straight and demonstrate to you how the advocates of that erroneous notion are duping the world.

Why guys should stop watching world cup and start reading seriously

I have always thought I am intelligent. But recently, I actually confirmed.  I am. Well, some beautiful girl alleged that I am and who am I to think otherwise? That girl believes I am one of the most intelligent guys she has met in her life. Can you imagine!  But you too can be intelligent if only you wanted to.

In other words, stop watching the world cup and become creative. Now, many of us, the young men just like the sugar daddies with whom we compete for these young girls believe that the only way to impress these girls is to drive cool rides and have a lot of dime to throw around. But allow me demystify that fallacy. Let me introduce you to the most excellent way and teach you how to buy without money.

Lessons from NTV’s Be My Date

I am not the kind that you will find watching NTV’s Be My Date because to me it is nothing more than the English version of Bukedde’s Abanonya. But for the last couple of weeks I have had to endure through the harassment that this proggie has subjected my eyes to because well, the kids at home think Be My Date is the most brilliant invention that NTV has ever come up with. So, to avoid pulling ropes with those little boys and girls, I had to assume that they were right and watched the proggie with them. At the end of it all there were lessons to learn which I thought I should share in this forum.

Slow brothers can find true love: they just don't know how

True love is a myth. True love is simply a dream and does not exist in reality. True love is this. True love is that. And there goes another definition of true-love and the gibberish and the claptrap goes on and on, perpetuated by ignorant folk who know nothing about true love. Now forget about all that drivel and pay attention, just this one time.  This is what True Love is.

True love is determining in your heart and confessing with your mouth that you are in love with somebody’s daughter. Now, some slow brother is going to read that sentence and blather, “but true love is better expressed in sincere acts of love than in the embellishments of pointless confessions of love.” Hey you dreamer, you can be as nice as you want to a woman of God but as long as you never come to that point of believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth that she will be your lady (read lord and saviour), then well your “sins of love” may never be forgiven and in due time and season you will definitely end up in hell.

Of Boda Boda stupidity and Uganda’s mini-phobic gentlemen

Abstract

This research article substantiates on the reasons why every Ugandan should be worried about the country’s alarming levels of mini-phobia. “What the hell is mini-phobia?” You will wonder. Well, before I tell you what mini-phobia is, I will tell you what it is not. Mini-phobia is not a good thing. It is not something that we should be proud of as a country. But if you are really determined to know what it is all about please read on.

Literature review

I am told that Rev. Lokodo is not the first Ugandan to perpetuate the persecution of the miniskirt or the journalists that have misinformed the public by calling the Anti- Pornography Act, the miniskirt law. As a matter of fact that law has nothing or little to do with the miniskirt. So, all journalists and their friends the Boda Boda (Motorcycle Taxi) men are advised to leave the miniskirt alone. That is the only way we can fight this fear of miniskirts or what I was referring to as mini-phobia in the opening abstract.