Of Boda Boda stupidity and Uganda’s mini-phobic gentlemen

Abstract

This research article substantiates on the reasons why every Ugandan should be worried about the country’s alarming levels of mini-phobia. “What the hell is mini-phobia?” You will wonder. Well, before I tell you what mini-phobia is, I will tell you what it is not. Mini-phobia is not a good thing. It is not something that we should be proud of as a country. But if you are really determined to know what it is all about please read on.

Literature review

I am told that Rev. Lokodo is not the first Ugandan to perpetuate the persecution of the miniskirt or the journalists that have misinformed the public by calling the Anti- Pornography Act, the miniskirt law. As a matter of fact that law has nothing or little to do with the miniskirt. So, all journalists and their friends the Boda Boda (Motorcycle Taxi) men are advised to leave the miniskirt alone. That is the only way we can fight this fear of miniskirts or what I was referring to as mini-phobia in the opening abstract.

How I disorganized people's daughters in my final year on campus

I graduated from Uganda Christian University recently after getting an LLB (Hons) Degree but the most wonderful time for me on campus was that time when I was in my final year. And the reason is not hard to find.

You know, when you become a finalist, you become a defacto trusted consultant in the academic matters of your respective course.  I for one had all these young girls running after me to help them with their coursework and man I was more than glad to help out.

The truth about life after campus

When we are still on campus, we are usually tempted to make very many baseless assumptions about life after campus. We, in our myopic way of thinking assume that all will be well and we dream of things like making quick inroads into the world of employment, steadily rising through the ranks in our careers, driving the latest models of cars, purchasing plots of land in the prime skirts of the city, marrying the pretty ladies of this world, giving birth to a few beautiful kids and all that claptrap. But you see those are but merely funny dreams. And one thing I like about dreams is that they happen when we are sleeping. 

When we finally chose to wake up, we shall realize that things are different out here.  Here is how we think and what the truth really is.

Of Campus kids who know nothing about Achebe and how they should eat rolexes

One fact I have discovered about myself is that I am a snob. Now, every writer is, in one way or the other. It is not that we really intend to walk around with extra kilos of false airs but somehow our calling forces us into such obnoxious behavior. As a matter of fact, writers are not paid a lot of money but the praises and flatteries that we receive for our work makes up for the poor pay. That is how our egos are boosted and we tend to bask in the glory. We then step on every other person’s toe with such reckless abandon.

The death of Achebe and the rise of the mighty snob

As a writer, the death of Achebe became fodder for my snobbish gibberish and the fact that I have read more of his titles than some Ugandans did not make things any better. (Some Ugandans know nothing about the late Achebe beyond his single but also most popular title of Things Fall Apart.)