The 7 habits of highly effective lovers (Part 2)

As promised, Part 2 of the 7 habits of highly effective lovers has come upon us. Just in case you missed part 1 click here otherwise let us jump straight into the fray.

4. Think win-win

Now many times when those we love refuse to click our vibe, we often get hurt. Some of us even cry. But why should we? It’s not that the world is going to come to an end because some girl said no when you tried approaching or some boy is too slow to as the lawyers will say take judicial notice of your coy blushes. So there’s no reason why you should sit there and mourn. You surely deserve better than that. Whether she yes or she says no, and whether he takes judicial notice of the blushing or he doesn’t. The truth is there is nothing to lose but everything to win. So stop being a loser and just become the winner you’re supposed to be. Just step out and be happy no matter what he/she feels about you.

The 7 habits of highly effective lovers (Part 1)

Lately I have been thinking through the work of the famous writer Steven Covey in his book the 7 Habits of Highly effective people and I thought his ideas may help instruct us through the basics of love. Actually this was supposed to be counselling material for those guys who are just about to graduate but who also want to get married as soon as they get out of university. So here we go.

Friend zoned again? Here is the way out

Friend zoning may not be a familiar term to all my readers. So I will start by defining the term. Friend zoning is as what ladies do to guys whom they cannot out rightly reject and kick out of their circles. In other words you go to a girl, tell her what’s up and she suggests that you should remain good friends instead of taking things to another level.

Neighbours with Benefits

It is a well-known teaching of our good old teacher Jesus Christ that we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. In fact it is the other commandment of the two peculiar commandments as reduced from the original ten.

However, this teaching should be construed as the lawyer will say Mutatis Mutandis (with the necessary modifications). In other words if your neighbor is somebody’s spouse you should not purport to love them as you love yourself because well there is somebody who loves them as they love themselves and that's their spouse…just saying.

Now in the recent weeks I have had two interesting interactions with my neighbors that came with benefits (pardon the pun) and I thought I should share these experiences which have helped me appreciate the essence of keeping good relations with the people that are around us.

How to impress a Muko (your father in law)

Now unlike all the how-to-do courses you have done and been exposed to by able instructors like myself and many others, this course is unique in the sense that it’s not littered with a list if how-to-dos. On the contrary, it is simply based on a dummy conversation I had with my Muko a couple of days ago. (Muko is the Luganda equivalent of Father/ Brother/ Son in law but for this particular purpose it is used in reference to my father-in-law). So please follow through the conversation and pick your lessons. I cannot keep spoon feeding you. Okay? Yes I guess it’s okay

To have or not to have babies

When you successfully complete LDC, one of the realities you will face are the ladies who think that you can now make babies with them. You are done with school after all. What more can you do with life except father a few kids here and there.

So, the other day I met an old friend. It’s been a while since we talked. When we met, I cancelled all the plans I had in the afternoon and off we went to Javas to question ourselves on why we had chucked each other and what plans we had for the future.

Somehow, as we talked and sipped on the cup of coffee we were sharing, the conversation drifted to an unfinished discussion we had had a few years back about the two of us making one or two babies together. I have always tried to avoid this discussion but she keeps bringing it up anyway.

How I missed out on the love of a Congolese beauty

During my time at Law Development Centre, my place of habitation was Nana Hostel. Now Nana is a hub for foreign students, mainly Somalis and Congolese.  For the time I stayed there I had a Congolese roommate who was doing a degree at Cavendish University. He knew some English (just a few words) and a lot of Kiswahili. On my part I knew a few French words and the furthest I could go in Kiswahili was Habari- Muzuri.

Our communications were but for convenience because well, destiny had brought us together into one room and like they say I had to stay well and my neighbour also. Otherwise, there was no reason why we should have talked to each other in the first place. We had nothing in common. He was Congolese, I was Ugandan. He was at Cavendish University; I was at Law Development Centre. He was pursuing an undergraduate Bachelors degree in I don’t know what; I was pursuing a Post Graduate Diploma in Legal Practice.

My ex tells friend she’s single and contented, we all know it’s a lie

In the words of my friend Papa Herman

“So my friend Musumba Zak recently chucked his long term sweetheart Abwooli for an unnamed Mukiga girl whom he purportedly intends to get married. Well, as if that was news. We all saw it coming from day one. Don’t ask me how? We shall leave such answers to our friend Jason who is prophetic.

Anyways, I stumbled on Abwooli the other day as I was making my rounds in what is left of Owino market (FYI, I was not purchasing clothes, I had gone to crack a deal. Don’t shake your head like that, it was a land deal.)

Of the search for big jobs and finding true love

Our centre of focus today is getting big jobs and finding true love. By the end of this article you should be in position to get a big job and find true love without a hassle. 

{Aside} Valentine is around the corner and well, everyone is talking about love but I thought that before we speak about love we should talk about jobs because I observed a correlation between these two realities. 

Its official, this year I am getting married and here is the reason why

It’s official. In 2015, I am getting married. I proposed to my Mukiga Girl during the festive season and she said yes. So if you are my friend, prepare your Kanzus nebigenderako for the introduction which we have scheduled for September 2015.

I am tired of small boys thinking I am their size just because I am not married. This year, I want to show them I’m not a small boy like them and that I’m capable of vibing somebody’s daughter to the point of marrying them.

Why every guy should consider marrying a Girl from Lira

A couple of months ago, I traveled to Lira to attend a friend’s graduation party. I was fortunate to be in the company of another lady friend with whom we shared an endless streak of stories and confessions on the bus. For purposes of this article we shall call her mercy (real name withheld on request). It was a time to remember, trust me. Mercy and I have since resolved to do more of these kinds of trips together. In fact soon we shall be doing an ‘Around Uganda in 30 days’ kind of journey just for the fun of it. So if you know of any places you can recommend in this country, please do the needful. We shall be more than glad to try them out. 

Beautiful girls should stop complimenting writers for the articles they write

It is one thing to write a wonderful article. But it is another thing when a beautiful girl compliments you for writing that article. It is a satisfying experience. I swear!

However, I thought it prudent to caution my friends who belong to the fairer sex about the implications of those compliments. I am not saying that the girls should stop complementing the writer for the awesomeness they enjoy as result of his efforts but I think there is need for some level of moderation. Just a little moderation you know.

Okay, here is the deal. You see, when you compliment the writer for writing an article, he starts imagining different things. He starts to think that for the joy he has brought into your life, he deserves more than a mere compliment, at least a hug, my friend. If you really enjoy the articles and are simply not feigning the excitement, then I guess a hug is not something too big for him to ask from you. Just saying...

Stuck in an intricate web of Bakiga girls

Recently I fell in love with a Mukiga Girl (Hereinafter referred to as Mukiga Girl 1). After falling in love with Mukiga Girl 1, another Mukiga girl fell in love with me (Hereinafter referred to as Mukiga Girl 2).

Perhaps Mukiga Girl 2 had always had a crush on me but it’s just a couple of months ago or so that I learnt of her predicament. I call it a predicament because the worst thing that can happen to a daughter of Eve is for her to have a crush on a son of Adam as cantankerous as Musumba Zak. Honestly I feel sorry for that girl.

Why my Christian friends should stop forcing me to eat pork

Many friends have tried convincing me to eat pork but to no avail. Unfortunately every time I am about to heed to their pleas and give the damn thing a taste, I get terribly scared and I back off. I just fear what will happen the day I get a taste of that delicacy. Off course my concerned brothers and sisters in Christ have attributed my fears to my Islam background and rebuked me for not getting “saved completely”.

An open letter to that girl who promised “to tell me something”

Dear Girl who promised to tell me something,

I have no time to waste. So I will jump straight into the fray and take the bull by its horns. First, this letter is not just directed to you but to every girl out there that thinks they can make the first move on a guy and get away with it.  So, please share this with that assemblage of busy bodies you call friends and tell them that we can’t keep up with the speed at which they are running after our souls. Call us slow brothers if you want but we need some breathing space. Honestly, we need it.

Why guys should stop watching world cup and start reading seriously

I have always thought I am intelligent. But recently, I actually confirmed.  I am. Well, some beautiful girl alleged that I am and who am I to think otherwise? That girl believes I am one of the most intelligent guys she has met in her life. Can you imagine!  But you too can be intelligent if only you wanted to.

In other words, stop watching the world cup and become creative. Now, many of us, the young men just like the sugar daddies with whom we compete for these young girls believe that the only way to impress these girls is to drive cool rides and have a lot of dime to throw around. But allow me demystify that fallacy. Let me introduce you to the most excellent way and teach you how to buy without money.

Lessons from NTV’s Be My Date

I am not the kind that you will find watching NTV’s Be My Date because to me it is nothing more than the English version of Bukedde’s Abanonya. But for the last couple of weeks I have had to endure through the harassment that this proggie has subjected my eyes to because well, the kids at home think Be My Date is the most brilliant invention that NTV has ever come up with. So, to avoid pulling ropes with those little boys and girls, I had to assume that they were right and watched the proggie with them. At the end of it all there were lessons to learn which I thought I should share in this forum.

Slow brothers can find true love: they just don't know how

True love is a myth. True love is simply a dream and does not exist in reality. True love is this. True love is that. And there goes another definition of true-love and the gibberish and the claptrap goes on and on, perpetuated by ignorant folk who know nothing about true love. Now forget about all that drivel and pay attention, just this one time.  This is what True Love is.

True love is determining in your heart and confessing with your mouth that you are in love with somebody’s daughter. Now, some slow brother is going to read that sentence and blather, “but true love is better expressed in sincere acts of love than in the embellishments of pointless confessions of love.” Hey you dreamer, you can be as nice as you want to a woman of God but as long as you never come to that point of believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth that she will be your lady (read lord and saviour), then well your “sins of love” may never be forgiven and in due time and season you will definitely end up in hell.

How campusers can overcome temptations

Simply put, to be tempted is to be lured to eat the forbidden fruit. You remember that story in the Garden of Eden, how the serpent tricked Adam and his wife into eating the thing. The bible says mbu the thing was pleasant to the eye and good for food. But what then is the forbidden fruit. Well, some people want us to imagine that there is something more to this forbidden fruit narrative than what meets the naked eye. But to some of us, the forbidden fruit is just that- the forbidden fruit. No hidden meaning. No nothing.

Christianity versus cohabiting

The challenge I got when I became more committed to my Christian call was that I began poking my nose into what is usually referred to as “other people’s business”. The problem is that the more I got closer to God, the more assured I became of heaven and thus the misplaced assumption that everyone wants to go to heaven like me. I started throwing scripture that is profitable for instruction and reproof at those that are lost; those who do not know what they really want in life, those who are definitely going to hell if they heed not to my counsel.  

Meanwhile, I became uncomfortable with the rate at which I was bumping into girls in our showers at hostel in the wee hours of the morning. Okay, I understand that our hostel is a mixed hostel but there is a wing for the girls and one for the boys. So I expect that the few showers that we share as guys should not be intruded upon by those shameless offenders that spend nights at their boyfriends’ places.