An Interview with somebody's chicken during the festive season

This being the most popular festive season in the world I am sure millions of chicken will lose their heads at the hands of human beings. We feel kind of sorry for them and therefore we had our own Tiberindwa Zakaria talk to somebody's chicken to find out whether some of these birds know what is likely to happen to them during the festive season.

(Just before the interview starts with this particular chicken, I have to chase it around the compound for about 15 minutes and when I finally capture it, I ensure that I hold it so tight lest it escapes before we are done with the interview.)

Christianity versus cohabiting

The challenge I got when I became more committed to my Christian call was that I began poking my nose into what is usually referred to as “other people’s business”. The problem is that the more I got closer to God, the more assured I became of heaven and thus the misplaced assumption that everyone wants to go to heaven like me. I started throwing scripture that is profitable for instruction and reproof at those that are lost; those who do not know what they really want in life, those who are definitely going to hell if they heed not to my counsel.  

Meanwhile, I became uncomfortable with the rate at which I was bumping into girls in our showers at hostel in the wee hours of the morning. Okay, I understand that our hostel is a mixed hostel but there is a wing for the girls and one for the boys. So I expect that the few showers that we share as guys should not be intruded upon by those shameless offenders that spend nights at their boyfriends’ places.

When I grow up I want to be the Kabaka of Buganda

To begin with, I technically cannot be the Kabaka of Buganda (Uganda’s largest ethnic entity) because I cannot be Born Again. Yes I cannot go back to my mother’s womb and get reborn as a Muganda. I am from the famous Bunyoro Kingdom, what was once a powerful empire here in East Africa but which has now lost its lustre.

But still, I believe there is a way out for me. We can borrow ideas from the concept of being Born Again as understood within the Christian tradition. Under that concept, being Born Again has nothing to do with physical re-birth but rather a spiritual renewal that one receives after one has become an adopted son of the Most High God. That is how we that were once aliens to the promise, we that were once not considered children are now counted as brethren to Christ who is first born son amongst many brethren. Thus it is the very reason why we cry Abba father and also the means through which we have obtained an inheritance in the Kingdom of God.

Playing hide and seek games with my new editor

When a writer is tempted to pick fights with his editor in the name of writing an article, you know he’s run short of ideas. But that is not the case here. As a matter of fact, I have not run short of idea.

Besides, my new editor and I have enjoyed a perfect working relationship thus far, obviously apart from the usual squabbles about the deadlines. Once upon a time, I was very good at beating deadlines. These days, I am sloppy when it comes to beating newsroom deadlines. Unfortunately, that paper for which I write has now got an editor who is stricter on deadlines. So, for the last one week, we have been playing hide and seek games with my new editor online. Now someone is going to ask me how they play such games online. Well, with the advent of Facebook, Twiiter, Youtube, Googleplus and all other social media networks that are driving us mad, anything is possible online these days.

It's not sleeping sickness or nagana that is distubing Uganda's bigwigs

An interview with the Tsetse fly that is suspected to have spread Sleeping sickness/Nagana to Uganda’s bigwigs

The tsetse fly denies responsibility for the unfortunate predicament.

As we may all know, it is no longer news. The bigwigs in this God forsaken country we call Uganda have made it a habit to sleep at every budget reading and State of the Nation Address. It is almost two months since we last saw the people that matter sleeping during the budget reading and it seems illogical that the Wireless Connection has decided pick on this matter after two months. But you see the Wireless Connection is not the kind of place where you expect people to take logical actions. Anyway just for your sake let us cook up some explanation that we think will satisfy you.

We were still investigating the matter to establish which of the Tsetse flies in this country has the guts to enter into the mansions or bungalows of our beloved politicians to spread this sickness.

How I disorganized people's daughters in my final year on campus

I graduated from Uganda Christian University recently after getting an LLB (Hons) Degree but the most wonderful time for me on campus was that time when I was in my final year. And the reason is not hard to find.

You know, when you become a finalist, you become a defacto trusted consultant in the academic matters of your respective course.  I for one had all these young girls running after me to help them with their coursework and man I was more than glad to help out.