A crash course on how to deal with Uganda's Comunter Taxi Conductors

I stay in Naluvule Wakiso, the town neighboring Nansana on the Kampala- Hoima highway. Nansana is one of the most famous towns in Wakiso. It rose to fame when a one Sizzaman Dictionary decided to sing about a certain Angella of Nansana. But who is Sizzaman Dictionary? A musician who is not worth your attention because well he is a coward, at one time he was supposed to wed Straka of the WBS late night fame and he absconded from the noble duty. Can you imagine!

That sounds like a nice intro because it has a name of a musician and a famous TV presenter in it. We can now get straight to the gist of matter which is how to deal with Uganda’s Taxi Conductors.

Course Description

To have or not to have babies

When you successfully complete LDC, one of the realities you will face are the ladies who think that you can now make babies with them. You are done with school after all. What more can you do with life except father a few kids here and there.

So, the other day I met an old friend. It’s been a while since we talked. When we met, I cancelled all the plans I had in the afternoon and off we went to Javas to question ourselves on why we had chucked each other and what plans we had for the future.

Somehow, as we talked and sipped on the cup of coffee we were sharing, the conversation drifted to an unfinished discussion we had had a few years back about the two of us making one or two babies together. I have always tried to avoid this discussion but she keeps bringing it up anyway.

Dear Kabale waiter who stole my modem

Yes, how are you sir? You stole my Modem. You thought I had forgotten. But I have not. I still remember that morning a couple of years ago when you committed this hideous crime and somehow managed to get away with it.  

However this time I want to warn you ahead of time and remind you that should you dare touch any of my property without my permission, I will castrate you. I am not joking.

How I missed out on the love of a Congolese beauty

During my time at Law Development Centre, my place of habitation was Nana Hostel. Now Nana is a hub for foreign students, mainly Somalis and Congolese.  For the time I stayed there I had a Congolese roommate who was doing a degree at Cavendish University. He knew some English (just a few words) and a lot of Kiswahili. On my part I knew a few French words and the furthest I could go in Kiswahili was Habari- Muzuri.

Our communications were but for convenience because well, destiny had brought us together into one room and like they say I had to stay well and my neighbour also. Otherwise, there was no reason why we should have talked to each other in the first place. We had nothing in common. He was Congolese, I was Ugandan. He was at Cavendish University; I was at Law Development Centre. He was pursuing an undergraduate Bachelors degree in I don’t know what; I was pursuing a Post Graduate Diploma in Legal Practice.

My ex tells friend she’s single and contented, we all know it’s a lie

In the words of my friend Papa Herman

“So my friend Musumba Zak recently chucked his long term sweetheart Abwooli for an unnamed Mukiga girl whom he purportedly intends to get married. Well, as if that was news. We all saw it coming from day one. Don’t ask me how? We shall leave such answers to our friend Jason who is prophetic.

Anyways, I stumbled on Abwooli the other day as I was making my rounds in what is left of Owino market (FYI, I was not purchasing clothes, I had gone to crack a deal. Don’t shake your head like that, it was a land deal.)

Of the search for big jobs and finding true love

Our centre of focus today is getting big jobs and finding true love. By the end of this article you should be in position to get a big job and find true love without a hassle. 

{Aside} Valentine is around the corner and well, everyone is talking about love but I thought that before we speak about love we should talk about jobs because I observed a correlation between these two realities.