The 3 things Museveni should do with all the money he owns in Uganda

The Wireless Connection came across a letter addressed to the president concerning the money he owns in Uganda written by our own Musumba Zak of Naluvule Wakiso and we have decided to reproduce it here. Enjoy your read.

Dear Museveni,

In the good old book, it is said that Money answereth all things. There is also a Luganda proverb with an almost identical meaning in its translation which says essente wekuba egonza wo.

So, when last week, you our dear president took the occasion to remind us that you own all the money in Uganda, I took the remarks seriously. My only concern is whether Sejusa, Mbabazi, Besigye and all those who have messed with you our president in one way or the other are aware of this fact.

On that note therefore I have decided to copy them in this letter so that they can know that you are not their size.

Its official, this year I am getting married and here is the reason why

It’s official. In 2015, I am getting married. I proposed to my Mukiga Girl during the festive season and she said yes. So if you are my friend, prepare your Kanzus nebigenderako for the introduction which we have scheduled for September 2015.

I am tired of small boys thinking I am their size just because I am not married. This year, I want to show them I’m not a small boy like them and that I’m capable of vibing somebody’s daughter to the point of marrying them.

A brand new Christmas Song by Musumba Zak, Check it out

Christmas has gone and many of us have spent the day in different ways. Personally I decided to spend my Christmas trying my hand at composing music. I have composed a Christmas song. After composing the song I decided I should share with all of us by uploading the audio on soundcloud. The video will come out sooner than later. So keep waiting. This Christmas song is just 2MBs heavy which means any Ugandan with five hundred shillings airtime can buy 20MBs from MTN and those other guys download the audio, or share this festive season gift with their friends on twitter, facebook, whatups and all.  Otherwise, hope you enjoyed your Christmas and let me also take this opportunity to wish you a Happy New Year. Click here to listen to the song

Why every guy should consider marrying a Girl from Lira

A couple of months ago, I traveled to Lira to attend a friend’s graduation party. I was fortunate to be in the company of another lady friend with whom we shared an endless streak of stories and confessions on the bus. For purposes of this article we shall call her mercy (real name withheld on request). It was a time to remember, trust me. Mercy and I have since resolved to do more of these kinds of trips together. In fact soon we shall be doing an ‘Around Uganda in 30 days’ kind of journey just for the fun of it. So if you know of any places you can recommend in this country, please do the needful. We shall be more than glad to try them out. 

Beautiful girls should stop complimenting writers for the articles they write

It is one thing to write a wonderful article. But it is another thing when a beautiful girl compliments you for writing that article. It is a satisfying experience. I swear!

However, I thought it prudent to caution my friends who belong to the fairer sex about the implications of those compliments. I am not saying that the girls should stop complementing the writer for the awesomeness they enjoy as result of his efforts but I think there is need for some level of moderation. Just a little moderation you know.

Okay, here is the deal. You see, when you compliment the writer for writing an article, he starts imagining different things. He starts to think that for the joy he has brought into your life, he deserves more than a mere compliment, at least a hug, my friend. If you really enjoy the articles and are simply not feigning the excitement, then I guess a hug is not something too big for him to ask from you. Just saying...

The Marburg scare and why it won’t stop us from hugging

The President of this country his Excellence Yoweri Kaguta Museveni has taken the bother to warn Ugandans against hugging. Why? Because the last thing our President will stand is seeing his subjects, the citizens of this country dying just because they do not have enough self-control in their systems to constrain them from receiving and giving hugs. It is unfortunate.