Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The hunter’s discovery

Today I made a discovery. And Though I am not the first to make this discovery but like John Speke who “discovered” the Source of the Nile I will be the first to tell the world about this discovery. And most likely, I will take the credit for the discovery.

I discovered that in this world, there are three kinds of hunters; the Hunting Hunter, the Haunted Hunter, the Hunted Hunter.

So, who is the Hunting Hunter? The Hunting Hunter is that Kind of hunter who’s barely skilled in the art of hunting. When he enters the forest and sees all these animals that Mother Nature has bestowed upon the universe he unnecessarily gets excited and loses focus of the ultimate goal. Thus, when he sees an animal with a beautiful legs, he says ‘Oh my God, an animal with a beautiful legs!’ So he begins running after the animal with beautiful legs. While he is running after the animal with beautiful legs, he sees another animal with amazing curves. And when he sees that animal with amazing curves, he says ‘Awky! ‘What the hell are those curves doing in this forest?’ So he changes course and pursues the animal with amazing curves.

While he is pursuing the animal with amazing curves, another animal with gorgeous eyes winks at him. And he says, ‘this animal cannot dare wink at me.’ So he again changes course to pursue the animal with gorgeous eyes.

At the end of the day, he is ever running up and down in the jungle but with no tangible result to show for his labour. He has the zeal but not according to knowledge.

But then, there is another kind of hunter. He is called the Haunted Hunter. Unlike the hunting hunter, the Haunted Hunter is a highly a skilled hunter. And when he gets into the jungle, he usually gets a good catch. Though, his only challenge is that he is so skilled at it that to him it is but simply a game. He hunts just for the fun of it and because it’s a game he enjoys to play. He is the typical player in the game. That is why, overtime when the animals discover his lack of serious ambition they escape for their dear life. Nonetheless other dim-witted animals stick around till he gets bored with their way of playing the game, throws them out of the game and goes back to the forest to pursue more exciting ventures.

But even then, there comes a time when a hunter out grows the games, just like all of us; that time when we bemoan squandered opportunities, that time when we lament the blunders of our exploits, that time when we are haunted by the ghosts of our past. It’s during such times that the player becomes the haunted hunter.

Yet above all is the ultimate kind of hunter. He is called the hunted hunter. The hunted hunter walks into the jungle with a swagger, finds a place to settle and makes a home therein. As a matter of fact, he is more interested in appreciating the world in which these animals live other than running after them aimlessly. At first, they may question his intentions and try to avoid him but soon they realize that he is not in the forest to hurt them but rather to contribute to their welfare because he treats them with respect and dignity. When an animal wants to sit, he kindly lays the grass for the animal to sit. When an animal is tired of eating the food available in the jungle, he breaks the monotony and takes the animal out for a nice meal. Therefore, because he treats the animals as any man who appreciates their worth should, the number of animals swarming around him, demanding for his attention just keeps increasing.

Meanwhile, amongst the many, he keeps searching for one which best suits his life-long interests and when he identifies his target, he strikes just when they least expect it and escapes out of the jungle with a profound victory. He always has the last laugh.

But then in some jungles the animals are aggressive. And you cannot simply encroach on their territory, make a home there and expect to survive. They will swallow you alive. So, what the hunter does is simply set his traps in the field before hand and goes into the jungle with no protection whatsoever. On the face of it he looks to be vulnerable to attack because, at best he comes off as a reckless lad who has no regard for his life and at worst ignorant of the fact that the jungle is governed by a certain law- survival for the fittest. Interestingly, nothing excites aggressive animals like such a move. ‘Which hunter enters a jungle without a hunting tool?’ They wonder. And then jump to the conclusion that such a hunter is potential prey. “We should make hay while the sun still shines, you know,” they reason. But unfortunately, in their pursuit of the “potential prey” they are led to the fields where upon many of them fall into the traps the hunter set.

At the end of the day he has more than enough animals from which to choose for a take-home meal. And therefore when he identifies which amongst the animals befits his fancy, he may choose to consume it for a day’s meal or tame it for life-long companionship. And it is at such times that some hunters are tempted to become polygamous. They are spoilt for choice you know.

In a nutshell therefore, we all must be wondering how I came to make such a fundamental discovery in the history of mankind but it’s simply because I am a hunter by nature. 

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